Flashback Attack: Young at Heart

Me at six years old in the Orlando Airport.

Me at six years old in the Orlando Airport.

I was just scrolling through my photos on my laptop when I came across this one. I had a bowl-like haircut and shorts that looked like the sky (let’s just forget about the fashion crimes I’m committing). This was taken at the airport after my first vacation to Disney World and I just really like this photo for some reason.

I’ve always thought that when you look at photos of someone as a child, you see who they really are. It seems strange because we grow and change, but our hearts and imagination never should. There are a lot of things I’ve learned since I was six, (Thank God!) but I am still the same in a lot of ways. I still get nervous when flying and I hate lettuce. I don’t like the color yellow and I still want my own swimming pool one day.

The point of this odd reflection is this: we should never change who we are in our hearts.

Sappy and cheesy, my specialty, but it really needs to be something that we embrace.

So many people shudder at their childhood, about how stupid they were, and the hideous things they wore, but we should never lose that goofy, child-like viewing of the world. We need to forgive more, love more, laugh more. Most of all we need to be unforgiving about who we are and allow people to embrace it. I know I can’t speak for much because I am still in the youngest years of my life, but one thing I’ve learned early on is this:

You’re not considered old because of your age, how old you are depends on your mindset. The day you lose your child-like heart is the day you’re considered old.


College Fever

The time has finally arrived. Applications have been submitted and acceptance letters have been received. It is only the beginning and I’m already sick of hearing about what colleges people are attending. It might be helpful if I explained my college situation…

My school has a program with the local community college that if a student tutors, or aids a teacher for fifty hours, they get two years of college for a really low rate. Just the cost of books, really. So, I saw the big reward in this program and that’s how I plan to attend college, at least the first two years. I think college is really important and a wonderful opportunity to explore your interests and further your education. Although, I am getting very tired of my fellow classmates just bragging about where they’re going, strictly because they are trying to “out-college” each other. What bugs me even more is that they are taking out ridiculous loans to pay for bragging rights.

I understand that there are may families with financial needs that require their children to take out student loans to attend school, but I just can’t see the benefit of putting yourself $100,000 in debt to attend a prestigious school, or one that will sound impressive to your friends/rivals.

So many people have looked down on me for wanting to attend community college, but the way I see it, I will get to explore my interests and further my education without having to pay a high price. Who knows? Maybe I will want to change my major five times, or take classes that don’t necessarily contribute to my degree, but that’s the freedom I have with the option I’ve chose.

I am not criticizing those who take the four year university path, but I don’t feel like it fits me. The only thing I wish is that people would stop harassing me because of my choice.

(I know none of you probably care, I just wanted to speak my mind.. 🙂 )


PDA: Why Some Things Shouldn’t Be Public

I’d like to start of this entry by adding a little video from one of my favorite childhood movies, Monsters Inc.:

I’m sure you’ve all known a “Googly Bear” and a “Smoochie Poo”, or at least witnessed something like this.

Just today, I was sitting at my desk, working on school work during my free lunch period, when out of the corner of my eye I see a girl and her boyfriend holding hands. I look back to my work and think nothing of it. A few moments later, they are giggling like mad and waving their fingers in each other’s faces. Now, I admit, I am a bit socially inept and don’t really know the social norm when dating someone, but this is definitely not something I’ve seen before. The girl was waving her finger in front of her boyfriend’s face and he was trying to bite it…

Then, she proceeds to say in a whispery, cutesy voice, “I told you I’m not food, silly!”


Well, I sure hope your boyfriend isn’t a cannibal, or likes the taste of your dirty hands because I’m not the only one hoping you’re not a piece of food. (Just a note, this whole finger biting and rubbing on each other continued for 30 minutes.)

Don’t get me wrong, love does stupid things to our brains, but when did downright creepy things like this become a way of showing affection? There are many mainstream ways to show affection when you’re around others: holding hands, putting your arm around someone, a quick peck on the cheek, but some people don’t understand what a PRIVATE, PERSONAL relationship means. I’m not a total Grinch, in fact, I love sappy movies and I cry at all the Disney Princesses falling in love, but I definitely don’t want to see odd things like finger biting, or sucking each other’s faces off. If you feel that insecure about your relationship that you have to shout it to the world, then you might need to examine your life a little closer.

The things you do behind closed doors, or in private, should stay that way.

In the realm of high school, I think people are trying to be more creative and lovey than other couples. It has become a competition of who can be the most cutesy, wootsy pies, or the most vulgar. There are three main types of awful couples I have observed:

  1. The Leech Couple: you’d swear they were conjoined, or something because you’ve never seen them apart. They aren’t downright disgusting, but you honestly can’t understand how they can find the ability to separate long enough to go to the bathroom.
  2. The “Everyone Look! We’re a Couple” Couple: it seems like all they ever talk about is their significant other. They only wear the bracelet from them and only eat the foods they like. They might also fall under leech status, but if they’re not attached at the hip, they are never far from the topic of conversation.
  3. The “We’re Clearly Having Sex and Want Everyone to Know” Couple: this couple lacks any amount of shame. It might even surprise you that they haven’t be arrested for lewd acts. They are constantly linked by their mouths and touch each other in a way that makes you want to cringe til the end of time.

Of course, I am being very straightforward about how I feel, but I do want to stress the fact that I am not  an anti-relationship type of person. I think having a boyfriend/girlfriend is wonderful and there are plenty of people who can have a relationship, yet remain true to themselves and still have their dignity in tact. So, if you have a problem with being too public about your relationship, think of it this way:

Would you cringe if you saw your parents in public doing what you’re doing with your significant other?

If the answer is yes, then please, go home and do it behind a closed door, or maybe don’t even do it at all. You will save all the unsuspecting eyes from getting nasty visions of what you might do when you’re not in the company of others. Imagination is a powerful thing, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, and don’t nip at each other’s fingers like dogs, or I might have to saw your finger off for you. 🙂


The Glorious Mind Filter & Why It’s Important

While scrolling through Twitter, I stumbled upon a wonderful quote:

“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say.They think everyone else does too” – Khaled Hosseini.

I was so attached to this quote because it perfectly described how I feel most of the time.

One of the first things I’d like to rant about is that: People don’t care about what they say or how they act.

Now, this is a generalization of course, but there are many people that fit this statement. Nearing the end of my final year in high school, I’ve noticed that teenagers are a perfect example of this. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard conversations where things just tumble out of people’s mouths and they don’t even blink an eye. The most hurtful, stupid, and downright disgusting things just pass by their brain filter. It’s especially hard for me to believe that people talk the way they do, because I am exactly like what the quote describes. I am not perfect and I say a lot of things I probably shouldn’t, but I do know the meaning of the word “filter”. Naturally, when people say horrid things to me, or about me, I take it to heart. I find it very hard to believe that I am the minority in this case.

Just the other day, a group of girls were sitting down the table from me and shouting about how one of the girls just needed to, “go over to so-and-so’s house and suck his dick because that would make him stop being mad at her”. Needless to say, I was quite surprised to hear this being shouted from down the lunch table… I could go on and on about the interesting things I’ve heard over the years, but I’m sure you can imagine.

The point of this rant is: don’t say whatever you want to, just because you can.

It seems completely childish that we even have to tell people over the age of 15 this, but I feel like people just aren’t understanding what that concept means.

Many people would say: Freedom of speech!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, I know. You are given the right to speak freely about what you wish, but having that right also means that you should know when NOT to say something.

If it’s not your business, don’t be spreading it around. If you really don’t care about that person, then don’t even bring them up! If you just want attention, wear a clown mask and twerk on park benches instead of trashing other people! If more people just accepted the fact that EVERYONE has feelings, I think we’d be in a better place. Self-respect is a completely different topic that I’m sure I’ll beat over the head in many posts, but this is another thing that teens of today lack.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I’ve never said anything rude to someone, or about someone. I’m not saying that there will never be a time when you feel the need to complain about someone. All I’m saying is, be kinder to your fellow human. Realize that what you say could affect that person, so much that they might even remember it for the rest of their life.

And just a tip for those who don’t appreciate my sappy life lessons:

Think of it this way, you might give people the wrong impression about who you really are, when stupid things are constantly spewing out your mouth.


What Have I Gotten Myself Into Now?

I found myself asking this as I searched the web for blogging sites. I really like to write, but find it difficult to pull out a notebook and a pen, especially when in the company of others. I blame this on my hideously awkward and shy nature. Although, this all might sound overrated, I wanted to make this blog for myself. Just a place that I can write down my frustrations and vent.
Being a senior in high school, I tend to complain more often than I should and my tolerance for communicating with people is at an all time low. So, to solve the problem of expressing my feelings, I turned to the internet. Mainly because of how easy it is to type and update (and maybe because I’m a little too obsessed with BBC Sherlock, but that’s a whole other story). If you’re reading this and you find it entertaining, then I sure am glad. If you don’t, well it wasn’t started to be a worldwide phenomenon. I have good intentions, I can assure you of that, but sometimes my thoughts and words can become a bit mixed up. Who knows? Maybe I sound crazy for talking to myself through the codes and firewalls of the internet (if that’s what makes up the internet…), but there comes a time when people just have to air their feelings out. And this blog is my way of doing so. Climb aboard my crazy internet ship and I will take you on the voyage of my life.
Man, I really gotta work on coming up with more clever things to say because that was downright awful…